Leaving

As you can tell by the post title these wonderful six weeks have come to an end.  On Friday I will leave, with my bags packed once again and travel almost half way around the world to return home.  This blog post is only an attempt at describing my feelings.

Six weeks, if you think about it, it really isn't that much amount of time, I mean really, what can happen in six weeks?  A lot.  In these past six weeks I have moved half way across the world, gotten lost and have effectively communicated with people who don't speak English.  And this my friends, is just the beginning.

People are so amazing.  People who were just names on a piece of paper six weeks ago have accepted me into their home and have done so much for me, it is unbelieveable.  And of course I have changed.  I've grown up.  I've become way more independent.  I can work the public transportation system in a country where I can barely speak the langauge. There's more to this though.

Here you're actions speak 100X louder than words.  Why?  Because you can't speak the language.  Even subtle things that you wouldn't even notice at home can be a big deal here.  Imagine having everyone judge you based on what you do and not what you say.  Words help a lot, but this has also taught me something. You can say anything you want, but until you actually do it, what you say doesn't mean anything.

Before I left a friend gave me this quote "Travel is more than the seeing of sights.  It is change deep and permant in the ideas of living".  I think I understand this quote better now.  I have had the opportunity to live in a city that is over 1000 years old.  I have learned history, gained a better understanding of a major world religion, and met people who have completely different views from me.  And I have barely scratched the surface.

I know now, that this is what I want to do.  I want to travel, I want to learn languages, meet and understand people from all over the world.  I don't neccessarily want to change the world, though.  I want the world to change me and help as many people as I can along the way.

"Exchange is change, rapid, brutal, beautiful change."  I've changed, not a lot, I am still me, but I think I am starting to understand better.  Understand that I should pay attention to what I do as well as what I say and understand that people everywhere are more or less the same.  We all want to love and be loved in return, we all have wants, hopes, desires and dreams.  Of course it has taken me a while to get here.  And this experience has been the most difficult experience of my life.  Not being able to express myself fully and not being able to communicate effecitively is hard, really hard.

No one has to go anywhere and no one has to learn another language  I mean after all it's comfortable over there, why would you ever want to change, go somewhere different?  Because you learn, love, laugh and cry so much.  Coming to Turkey, I had no idea what to expect or what I would find.  And all I have found is that people are really friendly, even when you don't speak Turkish they are still really friendly.  By coming here, my mind and heart have been opened a little more.

I don't want to pack and leave.  I want to stay here longer because I feel as though I am jurtst starting to understand.  Unfortnately that is not an option.  If anyone who has thought about going abroad, go for as long as you can.  It might not always be easy, but it will be one of the best experiences of your life.

As I am typing this, two days from now I will have said goodbye to my host family and be on a bus and then a farry headed for İstanbul.  It's amazing how much your life can change in one day, one week and one month.  Sooner than I would like to, I will be back home, packing for another adventure.

As the sunsets upon this ancient, mountanious city it is poetic.  Bursa has left an impression upon me, an impression that I don't want to fade or forget.  And going home after this has it's own challenges, but like coming here I am neither prepared nor ready for what lies ahead.

The next time I post, I will be back home, in Alaska, speaking English.  To the people who helpeisd me get here, mom, dad, Haley and any friends who are reading this, thank you so much, I honestly don't know what I would do without you.  To anyone else who reads this.  Thanks for reading, however these words do not even express half of what I have experienced and what it is truely like to study abroad.

Till next time,
-Sarah