Hello Readers,
It's been a while.
As anyone who has read this blog before knows that by this point I am in college. What you might not know is that I am not continuing Turkish, but I will address this in a moment.
It is raining as the changing of the leaves on the trees brighten up the gray sky. I walk back to my dorm after work as I do not have class this afternoon and I know...
I know that this is where I am suppose to be right now. Right here, in this moment.
It is needless to say that I am and have changed again, since I left Turkey, but Turkey and my experiences there are still meaningful and the language I learned is still important to me. But this is also important. It is difficult to describe my college experience, so far and I don't know if I will ever be able to explain it fully to anyone and no doubt it will change, again. But in this moment, this is my attempt.
Being here is one of the most challenging, frustrating, and difficult things I've done. It is also one of the most beautiful, incredible and amazing experiences of my life. Every moment of every day, every interaction I have with someone, I learn something, I gain something from that experience. I have learned just as much in the classroom as I have by talking to people at dinner or just trying something new. And I have made incredible friends by doing this.
College has also been incredibly frustrating. I came into college thinking that I knew what I want to do, not only as a major, but I (thought) I knew who I wanted to work for, as well. This is still more or less the same, I find myself not knowing exactly what I want in life. On a more personal level I came to college not expecting anything. I thought I would get my degree, graduate, and that would be the end of the story. Needless to say I was wrong. I have learned so much. I have come to love this place and I am constantly learning and relearning how to love myself, the place I am at in my life and others.
During this thing called college, I have found that my experiences in Turkey haven't left me. What I can express in words that I have gained from studying abroad is that well your experience does come to an end, the place(s) you go never truly leave you, they stay with you, influence you and help you understand. Also independence. It is hard to explain what I mean by this, but if I hadn't gone to Turkey I would not be as comfortable being as independent as I am in college. And then there is Turkish. I would love to continue studying Turkish and eventually become fluent in it, but unfortunately I do not have the time nor is it possible for me to take Turkish at another university. However I do plan on studying it during winter and summer breaks, depending on how much free time I have.
I guess my point, my reason for writing this is, I wanted to write something about how a study abroad experience doesn't just stay in the country when you leave. It comes with you, you take pieces of that life you had for a summer/semester/year and incorporate it into your current ever changing life. I also wanted to give anyone/everyone who still reads this an update on how college is going.
"Either writes something worth reading or do something worth writing."
-Benjamin Franklin
I find a lot of truth in this quote and even though I am still figuring out how to express my thoughts, ideas and actions in writing. I know I am doing something worth writing about every minute of every day, or I try to at least. While I don't know where my life is going and I don't see my life coming together any time soon, I am learning how to cherish the moment. It was easier in Turkey because six weeks is such a short amount of time compared to four years. I am learning, though that this moment is a moment already passed and might never come again. Which is why I am working to do everything I possibly can here, take advantage of all the opportunities as they come to me, because they may never come again. And this is scary, but it's a lot scarier to think about what you could've done, when the moment is already past.
In short I am just doing everything I love and I'll let life work itself out. I'll figure it out. Somedays it feels like I will have no time to do everything that I want, but I get through those. I am starting to view life as an unexpected beautiful journey and I, for the time being, am just here to enjoy the ride.
That's all I really wanted to say.
Till next time,
Sarah
